Dating can be exciting, meaningful, and fulfilling—but when you’re in recovery from addiction, it also comes with unique challenges. Whether you’re newly sober or have been in recovery for a while, it’s important to approach relationships with awareness, boundaries, and self-care. Healthy relationships can support your growth, while unhealthy ones can become distractions or even triggers.
Here’s What to Know About Dating in Recovery
Check yourself if you exhibit any of these signs, as they may suggest an unhealthy relationship, and you might want to put the brakes on dating in recovery.
Be weary of emotional dependence
Relationships are, of course, about trust and building an emotional connection, but early recovery is a time of heightened emotions and stress. Replacement addictions may also manifest at this stage, and a new relationship can be an example of this. Pay attention to how your relationship is developing to avoid becoming emotionally dependent on another person. Signs of emotional dependence may include sharing too much too soon; seeking happiness or validation in your partner; feeling abandoned or insecure if you don’t hear back from your partner or they make plans without you; and/or relying on your partner to meet your emotional needs.
Your partner may not understand certain things
Some people in recovery prefer to date others in recovery because they can relate to issues unique to addiction, while others might prefer to date only people not in recovery, perhaps because of a past toxic relationship or any number of other reasons. Others may have no preference when it comes to a potential partner’s recovery status.
If you do choose to see someone who is not in recovery, you should be comfortable with the idea that they will never understand parts of you and your life. Someone without any kind of substance use disorder cannot relate to certain struggles that a person addicted to alcohol or drugs may experience on a daily basis or has experienced in the past. These issues may also put undue stress on your partner who doesn’t know how to handle them.
Dating in rehab may be a relapse risk
It takes work to manage the intense emotional highs and lows of early recovery. A new relationship is also characterized by a range of emotions, some of which someone newly sober may have struggled with in the past or repressed altogether. The surfacing of new or ignored feelings can be overwhelming, as can the emotional fallout from a disagreement or breakup. If your coping mechanisms and emotional state are precarious, a relationship may put you at greater risk for relapse.
How to Approach Dating During Addiction Treatment
There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to dating in recovery, so take care to make the right decisions for yourself. Being in a relationship where both partners are in recovery can be incredibly powerful—but it can also be complex. You both understand what it’s like to struggle with addiction, but you may also face triggers, emotional ups and downs, or relapse risks together. Helping a partner in recovery while also protecting your own sobriety requires balance, healthy boundaries, and mutual support.
Loving someone in recovery while you’re on your own recovery journey can be deeply rewarding—but it takes work. By focusing on your own growth, maintaining healthy boundaries, and practicing compassion (for yourself and your partner), you can build a relationship rooted in mutual respect, trust, and healing.
If you or a loved one has a substance use disorder and wants to begin recovery, we hope you’ll consider joining the Royal Life family. Royal Life Centers at Sound is an outpatient treatment facility located in Lacey, Washington, adjacent to RLC at the Haven, our medical detox center. We offer care at the PHP, IOP, OP, and sober living levels and treat dependence on opioids, benzodiazepines, methamphetamine, cocaine, and alcohol.
Please reach out to us at (877)-RECOVER for help or to learn more about our treatment programs.
